Okay, I'll break out of generic gender mode to put some personal input in.
I'm on this board for F/F but I also love to lift women. I don't feel like I'm dominating a woman when I lift her but, after having lots of online discussions about domination, I've realized that I like feeling her submit to being lifted, so by default I guess I like feeling dominant by lifting.
I've also realized that my interest in L&C has nothing to do with the strength of the lifter as much as it has to do with the submission of the liftee and the desire of the lifter to do the lift. It's like an intimate communication between the two. If it's the lifter's idea the communication is "I want to hold you." If it's the liftee's idea then it's "I want you to hold me." When the other party complies, they're communicating back by submitting to the desire of the other.
Because of that, I'd rather see a failed attempt at a more intimate (or playful/friendly) lift that's real between the two parties rather than an impersonal display of brute strength.
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