Some thoughts on this from me.
I have been a largely silent member since the days of the old forum. I too did think along the 'self loathing' lines for a considerable time and even had my first account deleted here. I do feel though that feeling so comes not from the actual fetish, but an addiction to it. Especially considering there is nothing physically harmful about this as opposed to say smoking, drinking, etc.
However, I have (or am trying to) come to an acceptance of myself and my idiosyncrasies. While people may offer you their perspective, It's a journey everyone has to make and experience on their own. On their own timetable. So by all means, take a break from this if you'd like. If deleting your account helps, do so. But I've found it to be far less stressful if you accept your needs. Remember, if your addiction was strong, so might be the withdrawal symptoms.
If I were to suggest one thing, speak to a counsellor. And a good one (can't stress this enough). You may find it helpful, although not necessarily painless, to deal with your emotional health.
Take care.
|