Ever had a GF who wouldn't indulge your fetish?

mark.johnson21 · January 17th, 2016, 05:11

Hi All,

Quick question -- ever had a girlfriend who knew about your fetish and simply wouldn't indulge it? If so, what did you do/suggest doing?

~M

portares · January 17th, 2016, 14:07

I had a GF on which I used to ride (piggyback) sometimes but i never told her about fetish. All she knows that I like it sometimes.

tjw1971 · January 18th, 2016, 14:23

I think in almost every case, they were at least willing to give a piggyback ride once or twice. But I've definitely had girlfriends who just found the whole thing "goofy" and thought they weren't strong enough to be any good at it.

I don't think there's much to be done about it? Different people like different things. There were obviously other reasons we hit it off as boyfriend/girlfriend so I focused on what we had in common instead.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mark.johnson21

Hi All,

Quick question -- ever had a girlfriend who knew about your fetish and simply wouldn't indulge it? If so, what did you do/suggest doing?

~M

preacher860 · January 18th, 2016, 14:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by mark.johnson21

Hi All,

Quick question -- ever had a girlfriend who knew about your fetish and simply wouldn't indulge it? If so, what did you do/suggest doing?

~M

Oh yeah, my ex. Despite her relatively small build, she had cute muscles and I knew she could give me a good ride. Sometimes she would flex for me and her biceps would pop out and get real hard, and same for her calves. I've seen her lift very heavy objects with a surprising ease so I knew she had some strength.

At first I tried to get her to lift me on her back like it was just a playful thing but she flatly refused saying she'd get hurt and was not strong enough anyway. The sex was good with her and as time passed the desire of getting lifted by her really grew into me. So I decided to open up, I told her everything about my fetish, how it turned me on, how we could include that in our sexual activities. She found it amusing, she was even turned on by it (or me opening up?), but she still refused to do it no matter how hard I tried to ride her. And trust me, I tried!

There were a lot of issues between us, but when I dumped her, her stubbornness regarding my fetish had something to do with me getting weary of her. It wasn't just that of course, I wouldn't dump a fantastic girl for that reason (mainly because a fantastic girl like my current gf would gladly do it!). Come on, at least give it a shot...

cx · January 18th, 2016, 17:31

I had a girlfriend once who wouldn't even try to give me a piggyback ride. She wasn't small (5'8''), and I'm sure she could do it, but she insisted that it was impossible. Sometimes they just don't want to, and there is no way to convince them otherwise. We were together only a couple of month, not much time to change somebodys mind.

Does your girlfriend have a fetish or secret desire? Roleplaying maybe? It would be a good way to explain it to her. LC is mostly harmless and trying won't hurt her. It should be fun and is not demeaning (but I dont know your fantasies).

mark.johnson21 · January 18th, 2016, 21:31

My kinks involves L&C, wedgies, wrestling/facesitting/getting pinned. So none of them are gross or extreme. They're all basically just playful humiliation in various forms where the woman takes charge.

I've told her about them specifically several times now, but she won't do anything unless I ask her to do something and then direct her every step of the way. But the whole allure is that she takes charge without me topping from the bottom.

She's even asked: "So if I did the following... you'd like that?" to which I replied: "YES! Please do that!" But she doesn't. I've asked her (twice) why she hasn't tried these things, and she said she might need some coaching. But even after explaining what to do several times, she still won't just take charge and do them.

What do I do here without sounding like a frustrated jackass that she won't lift/wedgie/sit on me? I guess it sounds ridiculous, but...

I can't seem to get off from blowjobs, handjobs, or sex with a condom - because I've spent most of my life (I'm now 28 years old) fantasizing about the kinks rather than regular sex stuff. So essentially, I'm not getting off AT ALL.

cx · January 19th, 2016, 10:31

She sounds like a sweet girl who couldn't hurt a fly, and it seems that she is willing to do more than the usual for you. Maybe she is too afraid to hurt you? Tell her that it is not that easy to hurt a man.
You can also intent to ease into the wrestling. First cuddeling in bed, then wrestling in bed - meanwhile you can calmly give her directions, just don't expect her to get it rightaway, it might take some time until she does it on her own. I mean, girls giving us directions isn't easy either

For quite a long time I had the same frustrating experience of not beeing able to finish with regular sex. Even when I did, it was like climbing a mountain without the joy when you reach the top. It always got easier the better I was in sync with her. (Also, there are some herbal remedies that enhance the experience...)

You already opened up to her, so she won't think your a jackass when you continue trying. Just don't get angry at her, after all, it is not her fault (nor yours).

mark.johnson21 · January 20th, 2016, 03:18

Good advice!

furrypants · March 1st, 2016, 17:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by mark.johnson21

My kinks involves L&C, wedgies, wrestling/facesitting/getting pinned. So none of them are gross or extreme. They're all basically just playful humiliation in various forms where the woman takes charge.

I've told her about them specifically several times now, but she won't do anything unless I ask her to do something and then direct her every step of the way. But the whole allure is that she takes charge without me topping from the bottom.

She's even asked: "So if I did the following... you'd like that?" to which I replied: "YES! Please do that!" But she doesn't. I've asked her (twice) why she hasn't tried these things, and she said she might need some coaching. But even after explaining what to do several times, she still won't just take charge and do them.

What do I do here without sounding like a frustrated jackass that she won't lift/wedgie/sit on me? I guess it sounds ridiculous, but...

I can't seem to get off from blowjobs, handjobs, or sex with a condom - because I've spent most of my life (I'm now 28 years old) fantasizing about the kinks rather than regular sex stuff. So essentially, I'm not getting off AT ALL.

If I can add a bit - if you find a girl who wont take part in your fantasies, it is better to save time and trouble by ending it peacefully.

some · March 2nd, 2016, 01:35

My last girlfriend gave me a piggyback ride at the beach one day. It was short. She did it just to see if she could hold my weight. But then a few weeks later we were getting intimate, and she started inquiring on if I had any fetishes. I told her yes, but that I wouldn't tell her what it was.

She began guessing at that point. After a few minutes, she zeroed in on my fetish, because I was saying hot or cold. She said, "You like to give piggyback rides." I said, "Colder." She said, "You like to... get piggyback rides?"

I paused at this point, I still didn't want to admit it. But I bit the bullet and admitted it. "Huh." She said. After that, she didn't mention it for months and neither did I. To be honest, I wasn't into it much at the time so I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. That's my biggest regret is that I didn't ask her for rides more. I'm sure as my mormon girlfriend she'd want to please me any non-sexual way possible. She might have been thrilled at the prospect of being able to do something for me that Jesus wouldn't frown on.

So after a few months, we were cuddling naked in bed one night, I ask her for a piggyback ride. She says yes and gets into the position for a pony ride. Thinking to myself, this isn't a piggyback ride, I get on her back for a few seconds before it starts to feel really wrong somehow, so I stop.

Since then, I only got one other lift from her, but it wasn't the same, because it was during the time when we were friends with non-sexual benefits in a manner of speaking and we were drifting apart. And it only lasted two seconds tops.

Like I said, my biggest regret is not getting more rides from her when she was my girlfriend. Not to sound sexist or anything, but I should have been taking advantage! She's gone now, and I'll never get back the money I spent on her, buying lunch and dinner for her and all kinds of stuff. I really should have been getting what I was paying for! Not worrying too much about her feelings. Next time... Next time will be better.

January 17th, 2016, 05:11	#1
mark.johnson21 VIP Honored Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 320 : 0 For This Post 158 Total	Ever had a GF who wouldn't indulge your fetish? Hi All, Quick question -- ever had a girlfriend who knew about your fetish and simply wouldn't indulge it? If so, what did you do/suggest doing? ~M

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January 17th, 2016, 14:07	#2
portares VIP Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 61 : 1 For This Post 31 Total	I had a GF on which I used to ride (piggyback) sometimes but i never told her about fetish. All she knows that I like it sometimes.

January 18th, 2016, 17:31	#5
cx VIP Honored Join Date: Aug 2015 Posts: 114 : 0 For This Post 754 Total	I had a girlfriend once who wouldn't even try to give me a piggyback ride. She wasn't small (5'8''), and I'm sure she could do it, but she insisted that it was impossible. Sometimes they just don't want to, and there is no way to convince them otherwise. We were together only a couple of month, not much time to change somebodys mind. Does your girlfriend have a fetish or secret desire? Roleplaying maybe? It would be a good way to explain it to her. LC is mostly harmless and trying won't hurt her. It should be fun and is not demeaning (but I dont know your fantasies).

January 18th, 2016, 21:31	#6
mark.johnson21 VIP Honored Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 320 : 0 For This Post 158 Total	My kinks involves L&C, wedgies, wrestling/facesitting/getting pinned. So none of them are gross or extreme. They're all basically just playful humiliation in various forms where the woman takes charge. I've told her about them specifically several times now, but she won't do anything unless I ask her to do something and then direct her every step of the way. But the whole allure is that she takes charge without me topping from the bottom. She's even asked: "So if I did the following... you'd like that?" to which I replied: "YES! Please do that!" But she doesn't. I've asked her (twice) why she hasn't tried these things, and she said she might need some coaching. But even after explaining what to do several times, she still won't just take charge and do them. What do I do here without sounding like a frustrated jackass that she won't lift/wedgie/sit on me? I guess it sounds ridiculous, but... I can't seem to get off from blowjobs, handjobs, or sex with a condom - because I've spent most of my life (I'm now 28 years old) fantasizing about the kinks rather than regular sex stuff. So essentially, I'm not getting off AT ALL.

January 19th, 2016, 10:31	#7
cx VIP Honored Join Date: Aug 2015 Posts: 114 : 1 For This Post 754 Total	She sounds like a sweet girl who couldn't hurt a fly, and it seems that she is willing to do more than the usual for you. Maybe she is too afraid to hurt you? Tell her that it is not that easy to hurt a man. You can also intent to ease into the wrestling. First cuddeling in bed, then wrestling in bed - meanwhile you can calmly give her directions, just don't expect her to get it rightaway, it might take some time until she does it on her own. I mean, girls giving us directions isn't easy either For quite a long time I had the same frustrating experience of not beeing able to finish with regular sex. Even when I did, it was like climbing a mountain without the joy when you reach the top. It always got easier the better I was in sync with her. (Also, there are some herbal remedies that enhance the experience...) You already opened up to her, so she won't think your a jackass when you continue trying. Just don't get angry at her, after all, it is not her fault (nor yours).

January 20th, 2016, 03:18	#8
mark.johnson21 VIP Honored Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 320 : 0 For This Post 158 Total	Good advice!

March 2nd, 2016, 01:35	#10
some STANDARD Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 55 : 0 For This Post 39 Total	My last girlfriend gave me a piggyback ride at the beach one day. It was short. She did it just to see if she could hold my weight. But then a few weeks later we were getting intimate, and she started inquiring on if I had any fetishes. I told her yes, but that I wouldn't tell her what it was. She began guessing at that point. After a few minutes, she zeroed in on my fetish, because I was saying hot or cold. She said, "You like to give piggyback rides." I said, "Colder." She said, "You like to... get piggyback rides?" I paused at this point, I still didn't want to admit it. But I bit the bullet and admitted it. "Huh." She said. After that, she didn't mention it for months and neither did I. To be honest, I wasn't into it much at the time so I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. That's my biggest regret is that I didn't ask her for rides more. I'm sure as my mormon girlfriend she'd want to please me any non-sexual way possible. She might have been thrilled at the prospect of being able to do something for me that Jesus wouldn't frown on. So after a few months, we were cuddling naked in bed one night, I ask her for a piggyback ride. She says yes and gets into the position for a pony ride. Thinking to myself, this isn't a piggyback ride, I get on her back for a few seconds before it starts to feel really wrong somehow, so I stop. Since then, I only got one other lift from her, but it wasn't the same, because it was during the time when we were friends with non-sexual benefits in a manner of speaking and we were drifting apart. And it only lasted two seconds tops. Like I said, my biggest regret is not getting more rides from her when she was my girlfriend. Not to sound sexist or anything, but I should have been taking advantage! She's gone now, and I'll never get back the money I spent on her, buying lunch and dinner for her and all kinds of stuff. I really should have been getting what I was paying for! Not worrying too much about her feelings. Next time... Next time will be better.