depressed about l&c
 

Do any of you guys ever think "why me?" I try to be accepting of this fetish, taking an attitude of "different strokes for different folks", but I can't help feeling somewhat hopeless sometimes. :(

It's seems difficult to to accept but I like it. Not sure what you're getting at.

Im too obsessed about lift and carry to stop and think "why me?".:thumbup2::whistle::laugh:

nothing to feel bad about it , it is jus that we have another thing which makes us happy :D we are actually more fortunate , apart from sex ,this is another which gives us a high

Problem arises when some folks start liking it more than sex...I have heard that from some folks...

Luckily I'm not obsessed of lift/carry, it's just that I like it...in some way it turns me on...:wub:

that not a good sign IMO

@nautilus: yep. That is not a good sign. Infact looking at it from another angle, there are many people which find lift carry a bigger turn on than the female body(even n*de). In my opinion, even that is pretty bad, because that would mean to have real good sex(to get turned on) u need lift carry. :|

Interesting as I was thinking about that too lately. It seems this fetish becomes weaker and weaker every day at me, and it is being represed by female body interest (and its most interesting part). Are we all infants a little bit waiting for geting mature?

Hmm... Dunno.

I get very depressed sometimes. Especially these days, as I am going through a bad break up. A few thoughts:

- a fetish was technically defined as something without which one can NOT get turned on at all. This has evolved now, of course, but it is worth thinking about. Do you need L&C or is it just a nice plus?

- I get depressed because sometimes I find myself needing it. Not always, but it always enhances the experience. And sometimes it needs to salvage the experience, if you know what I mean.

- I do wish I did not have this fetish. Not when I am enjoying it, but at other times when I feel it takes away from what some might call a "normal" lifestyle.

- I had a huge fight with my ex GF when another guy picked her up for a picture. For me, that is a sexual experience, for her it was just a photograph! It was part of our break-up!

I have analysed it at several levels, and even suspect I know how it all began (3rd grade, I picked up a girl I liked when another guy dared me... she moved away later and I never forgot her!). My conclusion has always been that I need to exercise self-control. Perhaps this is an addiction? Or is it a part of what makes me?

The answer, for me, would be whether the roots of this are genetic or not. Clearly I am choosing women based on a subconscious criterion involving l&c (I always go for petite, light women because I like MF lifting).

Anyway, sorry for the long response. It is something I have given a lot of thought, and not something that I have completely accepted about myself.

I say it could go either way. If it starts to negatively affect your life, then I say it would be an addiction.

For me, I'm not depressed about it. The only thing I get depressed about at times is that I really have not had many lifts, but I am not depressed about having it as a fetish. At times I used to always wonder "why me"? Other times I thought that it would eventually go away, but every time I tried to shut it out, it always came back. Guess I've just accepted it. :thumbup1:

Hell, I would do it too! And every other guy which doesnt have that fetish. Of course, maybe they would make A HUGE fight but still it just isnt normal for a friend to pick his female friend up unless he has some "pretensions". It is just like pecking or too close hugging. It is not true that you chose girls by the terms of LC - you just like small girls. And I say that as I like tall girls the most (and MF lifting, maybe a little bit too much ;)). It is simple like for any other fellow which doesnt have any other fetish - you have some type of girls you like more and thats it.

Try some Celexa or Lexapro

What's there to be depressed about, really?

Is it an usual fetish? Sure.

But think about it this way. There are people in there who are into pedophilia, beastiality, bloodplay... at least you're (hopefully) not one of them.

Ok, lets look at this.
You are in a situation which is stressful with the regards to the break up.
What will happen is that you will automaticaly, as a survival instinct, look to what makes you feel good.
Just remember, you are lucky it isnt chocolate!
If you can take a step back for a moment, look back at the situation you are in from a seperate standpoint, notice that you are looking for something which gives you that "feel good" then you might find the "need" drops away a little.
I am not suggesting you will lose it but it should reduce. It is a normal reaction in most stressful situations and if you are depressed then this will be polarised.
Some of the other points raised about fetish addiction are a seperate issue - although still very valid and good issues to raise.
Make a list of all the things you have to do in order to move forward and focus on that - it is a pattern inerrupt which will help.

When I see a sexy girl walking on the street, the first thing I say to myself is "would love to jump on her back" .Maybe I am obsessed with this fetish, but I love it.I think it must not be a reason for being depressed,even if you need it to "get turned on".
It would be a problem ONLY if you think it's a problem and you(or others) suffer from it.

I know about what i am saying to you, I was depressed because of this some years ago.When I was about 15,I thought I was the only person in the world with this "interest" and thought every time of being lifted by girls I liked.I never asked them to, and today I am 24 and never been lifted.My shiness makes sure that I will never tell a girl about this fetish until I realize she really loves me, and I am sure that ,when this happens, we will help each other to be sexually happy.That is the idea every one who is suffering from l&c should have in his mind.
Don't be depressed,we are not hurting anybody with this.

(sorry for my English if mistakes)

That's right :thumbup1:

:thumbup1::D

well i cant call it depressing but its really addictive, i am really addicted to it and daily spend a lot of time looking for videos and pics of lift and carry ,sometimes i do get frustrated as till date i have not been able to get a real lift and possibly i will never be able to get one , but anyways it is a real nice fetish

It really helped when I found out that I wasn't the only person who had this particular fetish. The internet really opened my eyes.

For me, L&C is something that turns me on besides your average sexual things. Compare it to somebody who gets a kick out of eating grass. He still enjoys other things, but the grass is a "bonus". On the other hand, that's not going to be something he'll announce to the world.

l&c especially piggyback ride makes me smile :D
Parts of females are better than l&c for me. ( big butts, big boobs, nice legs, nice lips etc..)
I dont like domination thing. It's dangerous to think. It can cause depress.
l&c is bonus for me 8)


Edited to change word. Phoneman

Seriously, that's the great thing about the Internet...
 

I don't think it's limited to L&C stuff, by any means, either. Whatever "odd interest" you can imagine, it's almost certainly not so unique, you're the only person in the world who has ever thought about it or desired it.

The problem is, these interests aren't common enough that you're likely to run into others who share them in your small circle of "friends". Traditionally, that meant a lot of people went around falsely believing they were stuck with some strange interest that NOBODY else would ever really understand.

On the net, though, people feel anonymous enough so they can talk about things they wouldn't ordinarily share with strangers. You couple that with the vastly greater ability it gives a person to seek out others with common interests, and you're guaranteed to learn you're not alone in something!

With L&C though, in particular? I think you can actually "sell" a lot of people on at least a basic understanding of why it could be a "turn on" and not really that "weird". Plenty of guys out there like athletic women, right? And to a lesser extent, you can find a fair number of competitive women out there who like showing off that they're "stronger than the average woman". L&C, in those contexts, just seems like a component of those interests.

The biggest "barrier" to L&C acceptance is simple ignorance that it exists! I think a lot of women out there would have no problem offering a guy a piggyback ride or what-not, somewhat regularly even, if they simply knew the guy found it a turn-on. (I bet most times when someone says they tried this but the women was "disturbed" by it - it has MUCH more to do with how the guy came across. EG. Most women are still turned on by knowing a guy is physically strong and healthy, so they're not going to care much for a guy emphasizing how pathetic and weak he is compared to her.)

I don't know if I get depressed about it... maybe mildly depressed at most. Though I do often ask, "Why me?" I certainly do feel odd about it... I feel like I can't tell anyone because it's far to weird/embarrassing.

Also, I am very attracted to muscular/athletic girls... so much so that I can't really be myself around them. This is rather problematic. :(

I am thinking about getting some phone counseling... which is a bit more anonymous than regular counseling. This guy looks promising: http://www.healingforthesoul.org/

Thanks for posting. It's good to know that I'm not the only person who struggles with this.

I have an incredibly hard time with the analogy to r*pe. I do not even like the word used here. I have edited the comment to remove the "a" and replace it.

Does the poster know what r*pe is? It is an act of ugly force and domination. He can have his opinion, but I could not disagree more with any statement that uses the word lovely before such an incredibly vile act.

Note: The poster has had his own account terminated for personal reasons having nothing to do with this.

I think the LnC as a normal fancy and hobby . I told my girlfriend ! She accepted !
Just Take it easy ,My friend!

i think i love ff lift carry but i fell depressed when i didnt find long vedio
i ask my self
why they dosent make along free vedio ???
i think wwe must make divas lift carry show ???
why i love ff lift carry ???

Hi, guys I am the also one who get "turn on" by lift and carry but I like mostly FF carries.Can some one explain why I got more aroused by FF .???
And other thing is that if the lifter is younger girl or teen girl who lifts her mom or aunt I get very very :wub:
Can some other is here who love younger is taller then older or lifts older...

Just think that you worship something that can't get anyone pregnant, transmit a disease, get you busted in public, or draw a lawsuit, yet. It doesn't require cleaning up afterwards, expensive equipment, stopping in the middle, lengthy undressing, foreplay & redressing.

Unfortunately, it's a lot harder to get satisfied since they rarely ever accept the idea & we can't feel satisfied the normal way.

I understand you point, but why do you say "we can't feel satisfied the normal way". If you can not that is a problem. Please do not speak for the rest of us. Thanks.

"i've been a member of this particular community since it's virtual inception and feel that this is a group of nothing more than self loathing people. " :D:thumbup2::thumbup1:

Lots of people seem to want to speak in our name LOL

I know this will sound stupid what does "self loathing" means?

Do not feel stupid. If English is not your first language (and I take for granted that it is not), then your question is more than reasonable.

Anyway, self loathing means self hatred. He hates himself because of his feelings about L/C.

I'm not quite sure I understand what you're getting at. I think for the vast majority of us, L&C is a fetish, in addition to sex, not a replacement for it. Are you saying that for you, L&C is everything?

And yes, I'm pretty sure L&C can get you busted in public and draw a lawsuit. In fact, I've always felt that fetish type stuff is always a huge legal can of worms waiting to be opened... what happens when the girl giving you a good natured piggyback ride feels you poking into her back? Still is unwanted sexual contact, even if it's not a sexual thing for her. A peeping Tom isn't "hurting" anyone, but it's still a crime.

Thanks phonedude! My english is ok I guess but (as I allready said somewhere) - not perfect sometimes.

And I never hated myself for my interest in LC (???). Why the hell he thought that is the case?

Leobar, I think that very few of us feel this way. I do not pretend to understand why a few do. My best guess is that they are not happy or fulfilled in their lives and L/C is part of that problem.

Although us having this similar interest,( but in different ways and different reasons)I will speak for myself.

My opinion

It is really difficult to generalize any sort of people and associate them with certain personality traits for feelings.
In life everyone gets depressed for this reason or that at sometime of other. some have people have more problems then others or different ones.This bodes for all types of people. every non lifting carrying fans have issues in their lives so "self loathing" is not trait that is necessarily just tied in with lift and carry but of course some feel this way and i understand.

we have people as part of our community that have I am sure substance abuse issues . depression and so on. but guess what! so do all demographics;
all types of people. and that is what lift and carry fans are people. subjected to the everyday stress,s and also feeling the happiness of life.
I am not saying of that this interest can cause some to feel depressed of some self loathing. however sometimes if you take a look at your life. you might find there are other reasons for self loathing or not liking your life the way it is. to address the creator of this thread. true I am not in your shoes. but is sounds like when you broke up due to your girl friend lifting another guy. lift and carry might have not been the main cause.rather just jealousy on your part of infidelity on her part. something is wrong somewhere but if it were a kiss it or as a member stated a close hug it might have resulted in the same outcome.
I am not invalidating some of the real issues lift and carry on its own can create. as some were expressed well on here. but
where am i going with this.
cultures my be different and people may have different interests and many issues they day with in life. but that is all people and isn't that what lift and carry fans are . just people. like everyone else.
my opinion.

I agree with phoneman the term "r*pe" should never be applied to lift and carry.. r*pe is illegal and immoral and you will go to jail for it. lift and carry or domination by consent is different. in other words r*pe is r8pe and lift and carry is lift and carry. such a word should not be used so lightly.

PS. what i really have to be depressed about is my spelling and bad jokes:)

carrychris

I don't feel like L&C is anything to be ashamed about at all and it's certainly not a problem unless people are so into the fetish that they cannot get aroused without an L&C element which would probably cause major relationship troubles.

However, the one thing I do occasionally feel bad about is the fact that so much of our fetish material is based on pictures of innocent women who are simply having fun and posting their material on the internet for their friends to see and then having us pick it up and be aroused by it. I do feel a slight bit of guilt there. By no means is L&C the only fetish where this happens. For example, every single day outside in the world is probably a bonanza for foot fetishists!! But it does feel a little wrong to me. But given my love for L&C, what am I to do?!

I do feel pissed off sometimes that I cant really enjoy sex unless I am lifted. Considering that this is a secret that I dont readily share, it can be hard sometimes to have a fulfilling sexual life.

I feel the same way, and that's why for the most part the only L&C stuff I look at is stuff I've purchased, or youtube clips made my companies with the intent of it being an l&c or wrestling fetish video. Something doesn't sit right with me about raiding photobuckets, and I feel bad when I watch videos where it's just teenage girls who decided to throw what they felt like was a goofy, harmless video onto youtube, because it becomes sexualized. Even the most realistic "vouyer" porn is staged and the actresses have signed releases, the same with stuff like girls gone wild. These girls have NO IDEA that the picture of them giving their bf a piggyback ride is being sexualized. This is why I tend to get preachy and aggitated when people on here take the approach of "this is harmless," or seem to think that the women who take these non-professional pictures/videos somehow know about the fetish and intended for it to be like that. I do think, for the most part, the members of this forum do understand the gray area around all these pics, leading to them discouraging some of the less understanding forum members from commenting and harassing the women. Still, I feel dirty looking at them.

Ok guys...

Those photos are PUBLIC. We get aroused by them - so what? People get aroused by other public photos too. If you see some nice looking girl standing alone in bikini, of course you will get aroused, no matter if you are in LC or not.

We dont have to harass anyone, but we dont need unnessesery feeling we are guilty for something.

I agree, My thoughts actually. when A woman posts public not just between friend she some might look at her in a different lite for example a nice bikini. if some one gets aroused {not minors though} so what! that is part of the real world. all different aspects of woman can be admired anywhere.
most of these are posted on you-tube are just that public viewing. If some one is apprehensive about what someone will see in the photo or clip(even not knowing exactly what. then they should simply not post on you-tube and most photo shoot albums have the option of privet invites.
in other words simply looking at a woman and admiring her in the supermarket even if she does not know it is not exploition.
I do understand the concern of those who post to the contrary but this is honestly how i feel.
carrychris

The point is that you will get aroused by nice looking girls anywhere. That is - if you are heterosexual male and not living in Afganistan.:D

point well made. this is not "voyeurism". We are not looking through someones window or fence or peep hole. we are talking about public posts on you-tube and photo shoot. If you someone or something that arouses you and you keep it to yourself who cares? I do not feel that just the pays sites should makes us feel guiltless.
I am not trying to justify anything it is just how i truly feel.

again understand the concerns of others.
we have had this discussion many times in here in one form or another/
I have said all i have to say on this. we have you-tube lifts as a thread let us move on.

sorry for the ugly word...

I have one announcment too. But first I have to say I dont feel depressed, sad or feel anything bad cos of LC interest. These kind of periods are ussual for me when I want to leave boards and net LC meterials for a month or two. So, I am not asking moderators to close my account, I am just informing you that you wont see me for a while here.

See ya mates and have a nice boosting!

that's cool. leobor:). sometimes it I feel it is good to step away from the net once in awhile. well don't be gone to long:) and my your time away from here be fruitful.

good to see i am not the only who uses the world "boost":thumbup2:

LOL
so true :D

If we could get the afgan men into L&C there might be peace 8)

I have questioned my passion and interest to l & c only 5 times in my life. The last time was about a year ago. Can?t really remember what caused it, but it had something to do with my realizition that what it would do to my reputation if people would discover that I?ve got this fetish.

Anyways, I?m not depressed about my fetish. I?ve had it over 20 years and it has grown into me. It kinda defines me. But I?m not thinking about it 24/7.

If I see a good looking girl I usually check her look from tip to toe, and if the girl is - shall we say developed nicely - I might oogle her a bit longer. I?m not thinking "Gee, she could easily scoop me up." whenever I see a hot girl. I used to do that, but that was in the past, when I assumed that almost every girl could lift me.

Motive. You're back!:w00t: For how long though?:confused1:

But many Fetishes like Sado-Maso or Gay-Love looks "Normal" to the people. When you tell a Woman that Lift&Carry gives you a Turn on than they think its unusual and maybe they think that you are a Freak. :crying:

Often i wish that i was born with normal and accepted sexual intrests. But L&C is a part of me.

You are not the only one here. In most of my erotic L&C-Fantasys a skinny Mom gets Lifted by her Daughter. The Daughter is often heavier or taller or have some bigger Body-Parts (like Feet or Breast or so).

Nobody knows of that. Its only a Fantasy in my head and i hurt Nobody with that. So dont thinking to bad of that.

The younger/older Lift Fantasys are the strongest, but i have some other L&C Fantasys like Lesbian L&C or me getting lifted by a Woman and sitting on her Lap. In the other Way and i am also thinking about lifting a realy petite, tiny Woman in all varoius Ways.

Guys, I really wouldn't worry,, I think being obsessed with L&C is fine.. It's harmless fun really... Some guys like feet, collect stuff or some watch every football game and get depressed when the season is over.. I have fun making the L&C videos, I like feeling strong and like making stuff for the fans to enjoy.

So don't feel bad that you like what i like.. I had a phase where I LOVED leather pants on men, the look, the smell of the leather, it was just a real turn on.. and I still like wrestling as foreplay, feeling overwhelmed and helpless while under a stronger man..

Does that make me a bad person? No.. if someone is freaked out a harmless hobby/desire, then they are not the one for you...

Hope you do not mind a woman chiming in...

Sorry forgot this...IF L&C is making you sad and depressed.. that is not good, maybe try to find a new hobby.. if something doesn't make you happy, why do it? Sorry very simple way to put it, I know....

Hi Guys :)
The one thing that I have learned in my many years as a fetish Model, Wrestler, and in my personal life is that everbody has something (including me ;)) that can be considered a fetish. The difference is that some people admit it, while others do not.

The key is to find someone who is not only ok with it, but will embrace it in some form. Not everyone will (so screw them :tease:) but some will. It definitely cuts down on the dating pool but atleast you then find somebody you can be yourself around and not have to hide or feel bad about what you really enjoy.

This is not just true with lift and carry, but also with other unique interests, and I have seen many, many success stories. Including my own! :wub:

That is definitely useful advice posited by our forum's producers.

I think some of the original 'depression' in the thread comes from some people having their sex/love lives dominated by the need for L&C. As in some people actually end up preferring the fetish to sex or require the fetish to be involved in order to enjoy the sex. The former thing, particularly, is a bit of a problem. When it becomes a pathological paraphilia, basically.

But as the last two posters say, a fetish like L&C being enjoyed alongside a healthy sex life is absolutely nothing to be ashamed or depressed about!

I just hate that it's so hard to find new f/f content and I can spend hours looking for material to satisfy my craving.

Hello as far as I'm aware aside from maybe one guy here I'm the youngest to have started a desire for lift and carry, at 4years old I knew about it long before I knew what sex was, I would watch carry scenes over and over but as I grew older I did feel helpless with this desire, never could see enough of it, hated media where carries should take place but don't and I never spoke to anyone about my tastes. So I too have felt depressed about this fetish, much like how one would about having feelings for someone... I remember standing in a newspaper and book store for well over an hour looking at a comic with an ff cradle until I was told to leave....

BUT then one day when the internet was fairly new to me at home, summer 1999 I just looked up carry and presto! Women lifting women in arms, by ffcarries, great man! So at least I found out there are a few of us out there and I've never been depressed about our fascination for carries ever again, I've accepted it and as girlfights points out it doesn't make us bad people, provided we don't harm people with it....

It's the cleanest fetish I know of! Nevertheless I tell very few people about it, I only managed to tell my best friend for the first time last year when he was drunk though I've known him since 1989! I've only told one family member too, I may never be ready to talk about it casually to people I know, more so cos it makes no sense and I don't like having to explain myself:)

ff is a curse, before I found women lifting women I had no preference just so long as women are cradled but since I've gotten accustomed to ffcarries it is harder to be satisfied

I got the same problem, you get fed up with the same videos after a while, so I spent hours looking for videos and I'm very picky, so it takes long to find something which is to my taste.

You're better than me. Aside from this forum I haven't told a soul about this fetish.

A long time ago I explained the lift and carry fetish on an old lift and carry site. I also explained why some prefer ff to the other stuff. Years later I have discovered that my theories were spot on, by reading literature on the subject and engaging in discussions with psychologists and sexologists.
In short, it is abnormal to NOT have fetishes. Everyone has them, even those who claim they don't like Michele Bachmann :tease: The only thing is that depending on our fetish we reveal parts of our personalities.

That is why we producers do custom videos for fetish collectors... then you can get exactly what you want to see...

Well Junkies after my last shift as a temp in one place we went for drinks, this older man who likes Asians (I'm Chinese) spoke to me about things and as he's into eastern culture I told him about the Shaolin monks, their superhuman feats on stage, I told him how one would do a handstand and get struck by another with a stick right in the crotch:scared:

Most people would grimace but he said he wished he was there as that kinda stuff is a turn on for him! Well I did reveal to him my fetish at a later point but it got the ball rolling him telling a stranger about his quaint desires.... Generally I don't tell many people and usually not anyone I'm very close to. I know of one girl from an online game that's bisexual and is also into the carry thing would you believe :)

As for searching for new carry material, I used to do that in a library when I didn't have home internet! Or on other people's computers, a risk as they could find out what I did... Much of my browsing time on this forum in the past was on a public computer, yes I'm naughty! (I favoured computers that had vacant neighbouring PCs of course)

I don't feel any shame about this orientation.It's so sexy to have a secret that I only tell the women I'm with.It's also a very fun fantasy.I hope you can find women smart and funny enough to understand that this is harmless.