Ever had a GF who wouldn't indulge your fetish?

[mark.johnson21]

Hi All,

Quick question -- ever had a girlfriend who knew about your fetish and simply wouldn't indulge it? If so, what did you do/suggest doing?

~M

[portares]

I had a GF on which I used to ride (piggyback) sometimes but i never told her about fetish. All she knows that I like it sometimes.

[tjw1971]

I think in almost every case, they were at least willing to give a piggyback ride once or twice. But I've definitely had girlfriends who just found the whole thing "goofy" and thought they weren't strong enough to be any good at it.

I don't think there's much to be done about it? Different people like different things. There were obviously other reasons we hit it off as boyfriend/girlfriend so I focused on what we had in common instead.


Hi All,

Quick question -- ever had a girlfriend who knew about your fetish and simply wouldn't indulge it? If so, what did you do/suggest doing?

~M

[preacher860]

Hi All,

Quick question -- ever had a girlfriend who knew about your fetish and simply wouldn't indulge it? If so, what did you do/suggest doing?

~M

Oh yeah, my ex. Despite her relatively small build, she had cute muscles and I knew she could give me a good ride. Sometimes she would flex for me and her biceps would pop out and get real hard, and same for her calves. I've seen her lift very heavy objects with a surprising ease so I knew she had some strength.

At first I tried to get her to lift me on her back like it was just a playful thing but she flatly refused saying she'd get hurt and was not strong enough anyway. The sex was good with her and as time passed the desire of getting lifted by her really grew into me. So I decided to open up, I told her everything about my fetish, how it turned me on, how we could include that in our sexual activities. She found it amusing, she was even turned on by it (or me opening up?), but she still refused to do it no matter how hard I tried to ride her. And trust me, I tried!

There were a lot of issues between us, but when I dumped her, her stubbornness regarding my fetish had something to do with me getting weary of her. It wasn't just that of course, I wouldn't dump a fantastic girl for that reason (mainly because a fantastic girl like my current gf would gladly do it!). Come on, at least give it a shot...

[cx]

I had a girlfriend once who wouldn't even try to give me a piggyback ride. She wasn't small (5'8''), and I'm sure she could do it, but she insisted that it was impossible. Sometimes they just don't want to, and there is no way to convince them otherwise. We were together only a couple of month, not much time to change somebodys mind.

Does your girlfriend have a fetish or secret desire? Roleplaying maybe? It would be a good way to explain it to her. LC is mostly harmless and trying won't hurt her. It should be fun and is not demeaning (but I dont know your fantasies).

[mark.johnson21]

My kinks involves L&C, wedgies, wrestling/facesitting/getting pinned. So none of them are gross or extreme. They're all basically just playful humiliation in various forms where the woman takes charge.

I've told her about them specifically several times now, but she won't do anything unless I ask her to do something and then direct her every step of the way. But the whole allure is that she takes charge without me topping from the bottom.

She's even asked: "So if I did the following... you'd like that?" to which I replied: "YES! Please do that!" But she doesn't. I've asked her (twice) why she hasn't tried these things, and she said she might need some coaching. But even after explaining what to do several times, she still won't just take charge and do them.

What do I do here without sounding like a frustrated jackass that she won't lift/wedgie/sit on me? I guess it sounds ridiculous, but...

I can't seem to get off from blowjobs, handjobs, or sex with a condom - because I've spent most of my life (I'm now 28 years old) fantasizing about the kinks rather than regular sex stuff. So essentially, I'm not getting off AT ALL.

[cx]

She sounds like a sweet girl who couldn't hurt a fly, and it seems that she is willing to do more than the usual for you. Maybe she is too afraid to hurt you? Tell her that it is not that easy to hurt a man.
You can also intent to ease into the wrestling. First cuddeling in bed, then wrestling in bed - meanwhile you can calmly give her directions, just don't expect her to get it rightaway, it might take some time until she does it on her own. I mean, girls giving us directions isn't easy either ;)

For quite a long time I had the same frustrating experience of not beeing able to finish with regular sex. Even when I did, it was like climbing a mountain without the joy when you reach the top. It always got easier the better I was in sync with her. (Also, there are some herbal remedies that enhance the experience...)

You already opened up to her, so she won't think your a jackass when you continue trying. Just don't get angry at her, after all, it is not her fault (nor yours).

[mark.johnson21]

Good advice!

[furrypants]

My kinks involves L&C, wedgies, wrestling/facesitting/getting pinned. So none of them are gross or extreme. They're all basically just playful humiliation in various forms where the woman takes charge.

I've told her about them specifically several times now, but she won't do anything unless I ask her to do something and then direct her every step of the way. But the whole allure is that she takes charge without me topping from the bottom.

She's even asked: "So if I did the following... you'd like that?" to which I replied: "YES! Please do that!" But she doesn't. I've asked her (twice) why she hasn't tried these things, and she said she might need some coaching. But even after explaining what to do several times, she still won't just take charge and do them.

What do I do here without sounding like a frustrated jackass that she won't lift/wedgie/sit on me? I guess it sounds ridiculous, but...

I can't seem to get off from blowjobs, handjobs, or sex with a condom - because I've spent most of my life (I'm now 28 years old) fantasizing about the kinks rather than regular sex stuff. So essentially, I'm not getting off AT ALL.



If I can add a bit - if you find a girl who wont take part in your fantasies, it is better to save time and trouble by ending it peacefully.:)

[some]

My last girlfriend gave me a piggyback ride at the beach one day. It was short. She did it just to see if she could hold my weight. But then a few weeks later we were getting intimate, and she started inquiring on if I had any fetishes. I told her yes, but that I wouldn't tell her what it was.

She began guessing at that point. After a few minutes, she zeroed in on my fetish, because I was saying hot or cold. She said, "You like to give piggyback rides." I said, "Colder." She said, "You like to... get piggyback rides?"

I paused at this point, I still didn't want to admit it. But I bit the bullet and admitted it. "Huh." She said. After that, she didn't mention it for months and neither did I. To be honest, I wasn't into it much at the time so I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. That's my biggest regret is that I didn't ask her for rides more. I'm sure as my mormon girlfriend she'd want to please me any non-sexual way possible. She might have been thrilled at the prospect of being able to do something for me that Jesus wouldn't frown on.

So after a few months, we were cuddling naked in bed one night, I ask her for a piggyback ride. She says yes and gets into the position for a pony ride. Thinking to myself, this isn't a piggyback ride, I get on her back for a few seconds before it starts to feel really wrong somehow, so I stop.

Since then, I only got one other lift from her, but it wasn't the same, because it was during the time when we were friends with non-sexual benefits in a manner of speaking and we were drifting apart. And it only lasted two seconds tops.

Like I said, my biggest regret is not getting more rides from her when she was my girlfriend. Not to sound sexist or anything, but I should have been taking advantage! She's gone now, and I'll never get back the money I spent on her, buying lunch and dinner for her and all kinds of stuff. I really should have been getting what I was paying for! Not worrying too much about her feelings. Next time... Next time will be better.

[preacher860]

If I can add a bit - if you find a girl who wont take part in your fantasies, it is better to save time and trouble by ending it peacefully.:)

I tend to agree. I had gfs that could lift me but refused to, and others that did it but only very reluctantly although they had plenty of strength, and made me feel bad about it. How good is a girlfriend that won't accept something that's just part of you?

Now, I've been with this fantastic woman for 6 years and not only is she open and amused by me liking to ride on a girl's back, she'll gladly indulge when I request it, allowing me on her back during sex and supporting me for as long as she can, even squatting.

Not only that, she's also aware I'm having carrying sessions with girls I recruit from the ads and she's ok with it, even asking me how it was when I come back, was she nice, was she strong, could she do stairs? As long as I only ride the girls and don't engage in anything explicitely sexual, it's fine. I wouldn't anyway, why would I when I'm with such a terrific girl?

[phoneman]

This is not quite the same, but it is about my sister-in-law. Some of you may know that I am a good bit older than most on this board and have been married since prior to 1970.

Back then, it was unusual for a woman/girl to show her strength. In fact, in most US high schools, there were not even any girls sports. It was cheer leading or nothing for girls.

This happened during the summer when my future wife and I were 19 (as I recall). My future wife and her sister both worked in a coffee shop in a hotel. There often not many customers, so we could do silly things and no one was likely to walk in.

My future wife was about 5'6". Her younger sister was three years younger (16) and about 5'9". They both had average builds, so her younger sister was definitely bigger and heavier. I do not think that she was quite as strong as my future wife, but close enough.

One day I was fooling around leaning on the back of my future wife, when I asked her to give me a piggy back ride. She agreed, so I jumped on and she walked thirty or forty feet toward her sister.

I jumped and and turned to her sister and said, "Now it is your turn". I might as well thrown a glass of water on her. She said, "Yuch, no" (or something close to that)

That was obviously the last time that I asked my future sister-in-law for a ride. She certainly would have had no problem giving me a piggy back ride. She was surely big enough and strong enough, but the idea of it freaked her out.

As I have reported in posts here long ago, my wife gave my many piggy backs after that. I never thought to ask my wife for other types of lifts which she would have been happy to do and able to do. Oh well, missed opportunity.

[furrypants]

That is really fantastic that you found a lady to share your interest. It is unfortunately quite rare, as so many seem squeamish at anything but vanilla sex

[XxJerichoxX]

I would see what fetishes she has first. You gain an understanding of her, and she might not be as weirded out by yours.

[helomelo]

Back in my college days I was seeing a girl, every time we went out I would attempt to get her to give me a piggyback but she would always crouch down and I would roll off her back onto the floor. I knew she would have been able to carry me but for some reason she wouldn't do it. I got to sit on her lap a few times. It wasn't a serious relationship though and only lasted a few months.

A couple of years later I was seeing a girl who was into cycling, she could easily carry me. But after she had lifted me a couple of times she refused any more rides, she said I was only seeing her to be carried!